There was a time in my life when dating was no big deal. I was young. I didn’t understand that silly word love. Then came a moment, when I realized how painful it could be to sit there and watch the person you claimed you loved, flirt with another man. It hurts. It makes you feel worthless and inane. Ever since that incident, I’ve erected this conscious wall that blocks me from any commitment regarding that word love. I’m scared to open up to another person again, because I don’t want to watch, painfully, as everything falls apart. I feel lonely. It sucks. How can I move on, when there’s this huge wall barricading me in? I claim that I don’t date, because of school and my future, but really, I’m just concealing myself from the truth. No more. I’ve deceived my self, for too long. I need to be more open and trust more, because hiding and dissembling myself from the truth will get me no where.